Turbo build Log #1:

today at 2:14 AM I hit 13 pounds of boost, knowing that the engine can barely take 15 pounds; I quickly let off the throttle.

but holy mother fucking holy grail of shit faced cunt sucking OMG.

I could barely grip the steering wheel.

I think I should bring it back to 10-8 pounds of compressed air and see what I get from that.


my car. my nubby. the only female that still bitches to me about wearing a seatbelt.

other than my best friend....but i think she complains about the beeping more than the non-seatbeltness of it.

=| life is goood. yes it is.

Accepted rejection.

"There comes a point in ur life when u realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore & who always will. So don't worry about people from your past, there is a reason they didn't make it to your future"

Reflections

I watch you from the sidelines, that’s where I stare,
Realizing that you..you’re breathing MY air.
Just like every time I see you, telling myself that I don’t care
All the while, it’s you, you and that hair.
I try hard to get you out of my head, for we are friends
And to do anything about what I feel, I’m sure we will see our end
Yet again, just like before. I’m unsure,
I torment myself but this time with great pleasure,
I’ve done my job of keeping this secret a great treasure
It’s just, I stand at the edge of the sideline, and I see you
And I feel like this poetry shit, just wont’ do it
I want to drag you into my world, as I’ve done to girls before
But this time it’s gonna be different, because quite frankly,
You’re not a whore.


oh my god. i'm in trouble. my mind is working, this time it works double. lets snuggle, a hug from you. shit. oh man. my bad, my level.

koncept64

Dec 3, 2006 1:21 AM
The world spins in deep rhymes lyrics and beats
turntables run and drip wax fingerprints in the heat
The world turns tables on friendships well known
funky sounds are voices in the ears for you so
the songs are the feel good way to drift away
an apology’s line is laying on the ground
waiting for the headphones, connected to the sound
a friendships life is laying in the trenches so bare
the boom boom clap clap sound of drummer boys snare
the man stands scared in front of the producers studio
worried that he fucked it up, all laid out in the audio
sits down in the chair and draws up an outline
best friend sits next to the one he loves, friendship defined
he starts to write write and write, his feelings down as he cries
Lyrics are the beats, the words are the snares,
So far you found the niche to stand in and with me..just..Stare.

koncept64

I need you.
I need sombody.
I need sombody to tell me that i'll be ok
i need sombody to say it straight to my face.



edit: I'll tell you the truth right now.
December 13th 2007 12:27 AM / I'm okay. i promise you. i am okay.

What, i don't work hard for what i have? granted, i get some things easier than the next, but what i have i cherish and i work hard to maintain the very thing that i worked so hard to recieve. FUck. everybody acts like i just have shit handed to me and i don't give a fuck about what i have, like i'm an irresponsible piece of shit. like i take everything for granted. What the fcuk gave them that idea? my parnets making money? hah. like that fucking solidifies anything that goes on in my life.

It's one of they made money and i asked for it and recieved it everytime i did so. but i don't. i have limits and something much much more valuble. what is that you ask?

MY MOTHER FUCKING PRIDE. MY SELF CONFIDENCE. MY OWN LIFE.

ill ask if shit hits hte fan, who wouldn't?


but i am doing this on my own. why? BECAUSE I WANT TO. I WANT TO KNOW THAT I CAN DO THIS ON MY OWN AND KNOW THAT WHAT I HAVE IN THE FUTURE IS MY FAULT, NOT BECAUSE OF SOME STUPID MONEY MONGERING FAMILY THAT DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THAT I CARE MORE ABOUT LOVE, LIFE AND A FAMILY AS OPPOSED TO HOW MUCH MONEY I MAKE. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i just want to be happy knowing that i made a difference when i die.
FUCKKKKKKKK

Sitting here, i just realized. i'm 20. i should have just rounded the corner and figured out that im about to graduate.

instead.

i sit on top of 30 credits.

barely finishing my freshman year.

i've lost the battle.

the war is over the horizon.

the only way to win is to love thyself



me? i'm far from that.


Heading to frisco in about 2 hours.

=X didn't pack yet. hahaha

anyways

so i got to thinking. what the hell is my all time favorite type of girl?

welllllllll i dunno.

i can't really speak for all girls because i tend to fall in love with the oddballs.

- i want a girl...small enough that i can carry her without struggling.
- i want to be that girls support
- i want to be missed.
- i want to actually be somebody's everything
- hell, ill even take somebody's something.
- oh, she has to tolerate somewhat of an ornate amount of tattoos....cuz i have that
- and get one with me one day =X
....................she can have a small one i don't mind =)
- tolerate my piercings...no worries, i only gauged my ears to a 0 and thats where it ends.
- a girl whose gonna go with me....to nowhere..because those trips are only good when you have sombody to go nowhere with.
- the girl that makes nowhere turn into somewhere.
- a girl that understands i'm a sucker for love, and doesn't denyy it
- a girl that understands that even though im a sucker for love, i sometimes forget that she needs to ALWAYS feel like she is loved
- a girl that needs to feel loved by me....and not another person.



-a girl that is a little easier than this to find...

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Hieu Nguyen        M...

Hieu Nguyen



My favorite place in the whole wide world.



The faint rustling as the wind brushes a fine-toothed comb through each blade of grass was enough to drown out the screams that I shoved through my fingertips. Leaving marks of blue and black on the wooden tree that sheltered me from the rain that I created when I stepped out of the box in the twilight of my soul. I spent years yearning for a moment in which I was free, the moment of which stood in front of my very essence amid the mistakes that I make daily.  It is here I stand, I am free; free from the burden that I created myself yet I miss it as much as I miss the hand I let leave so long ago. It is this moment in which I remembered the face I forgot for so many months. Yet, at this moment I feel at ease with the grass standing at attention under my feet.



Barefoot, something I haven’t attempted since the days of hot green shorts and Jennifer love Hewitt. Something about this place brings the calm collective soulful feeling that I long for daily. Something about the grass under my toes, the sun beaming down and the warmth of the summer breeze helps me feel at ease more than I ever have before. This place confuses me, I for one never knew it to ever exist,

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I'm gone.

Maybe.

I’m going to change the world one day, maybe not consciously, maybe not by becoming famous, maybe not in conventional terms, maybe not even the world as you see it. Maybe. Ill just change the world to one person.

Maybe just maybe. Ill mean so much to one person. MAYBE. Ill mean the world to one person.

And all I have to do is drop a hat.

And give them a hug

And a kiss.

And whisper sweet nothings into their ear

And tell them how much they mean to me


To change their world.

So little to say.

So much time.

Some people affect you more than you ever could imagine, some people have the innate ability to make you do a double pass over anybody with the same hair color, same height or same smell as that person. Some people you tripped over so fast the mere thought of them has an enormous affect on the way your day is going to pass. Some people make you make you scared to visit places you once loved because of memories that you both shared. Some people remain your friends, yet you watch them live and you feel shitty inside because that’s all that you can do. Watch them live. Some people make you feel like you were lied to throughout the whole relationship, only because the truth hurts even more. That the truth is, what was once there, is gone; and has been gone for a long time. Some people manage to set your imagination on fire, only to remind you that tears are the only way to put it out. Some people. Hurt you without wanting to. Some people make you wonder if letting them go was worth it. Some people should not see this post.

Then again.


Some people deserve to remember how it feels.

You know, maybe for once all I need is to believe in myself, maybe I need that confidence that tells me everything I go through can set me in the place I want to be, maybe I don’t NEED these people that I wanted so much. Yea I love the feeling of having somebody, but maybe just maybe I can stand without people. Maybe with the confidence I lack, I can walk up to a girl and just start chatting the day away, and she will like it. And she will think its nice. Maybe, ill use my first pickup line. Maybe maybe maybe. Maybe. I just need some confidence

Oh, she’s sitting there with the headphones resting on her head
I keep glancing her way,
My mind is wandering and I’m staring instead
Supposed to be studying,
My eyes are blinded by her beauty.
I’m surprised to notice, she has an olive complexion;
And I just wanted this girl to see me
She’s singing a song that I don’t know,
So I form a beat, in my head
And again I stare at her and I swear she glows
im trying to focus, that I can’t do
wonder what its like to be so infatuated,
and that I hope you are too.
So relaxed she looks sitting there alone
I should get up, maybe get over there
Speak some words, but my tongue is dry to the bone
I’m not ready, too nervous. My body is quivering
And I feel as if for me to say something is nothing



p.s. dear blog. I’m so glad that nobody reads this on a daily basis.

Id be in so much trouble.

Just once, I want to feel as if somebody wants me to step back from the ledge. I don’t want somebody to pull me back from the ledge, I don’t need that. I want somebody to purely and from their heart feel as if they want me to stick around just a little longer. I want somebody to look into my eyes, and know how I’m feeling inside. Sometimes I just want somebody to remind me that maybe. Just maybe. I don’t want to jump yet.

Maybe I’m asking for too much. Hah.


How come nobody wants to ever meet me half way? I put myself out there, to be there for everybody. To help everybody in any way that I actually can yet, nobody is willing to put themselves out there for me. Not even for the simplest thing. Maybe I just want some company so I don’t feel so lonely. I don’t know…I feel like I work so hard for something so pointless. In everything. EVERYTHING.