You know, maybe for once all I need is to believe in myself, maybe I need that confidence that tells me everything I go through can set me in the place I want to be, maybe I don’t NEED these people that I wanted so much. Yea I love the feeling of having somebody, but maybe just maybe I can stand without people. Maybe with the confidence I lack, I can walk up to a girl and just start chatting the day away, and she will like it. And she will think its nice. Maybe, ill use my first pickup line. Maybe maybe maybe. Maybe. I just need some confidence

Oh, she’s sitting there with the headphones resting on her head
I keep glancing her way,
My mind is wandering and I’m staring instead
Supposed to be studying,
My eyes are blinded by her beauty.
I’m surprised to notice, she has an olive complexion;
And I just wanted this girl to see me
She’s singing a song that I don’t know,
So I form a beat, in my head
And again I stare at her and I swear she glows
im trying to focus, that I can’t do
wonder what its like to be so infatuated,
and that I hope you are too.
So relaxed she looks sitting there alone
I should get up, maybe get over there
Speak some words, but my tongue is dry to the bone
I’m not ready, too nervous. My body is quivering
And I feel as if for me to say something is nothing



p.s. dear blog. I’m so glad that nobody reads this on a daily basis.

Id be in so much trouble.

Just once, I want to feel as if somebody wants me to step back from the ledge. I don’t want somebody to pull me back from the ledge, I don’t need that. I want somebody to purely and from their heart feel as if they want me to stick around just a little longer. I want somebody to look into my eyes, and know how I’m feeling inside. Sometimes I just want somebody to remind me that maybe. Just maybe. I don’t want to jump yet.

Maybe I’m asking for too much. Hah.


How come nobody wants to ever meet me half way? I put myself out there, to be there for everybody. To help everybody in any way that I actually can yet, nobody is willing to put themselves out there for me. Not even for the simplest thing. Maybe I just want some company so I don’t feel so lonely. I don’t know…I feel like I work so hard for something so pointless. In everything. EVERYTHING.