Thought process

I'm not quite sure what i got myself into, i wanted this for so long and now i'm so confused. Fortunately i'm not confused as to whether or not this is what i want, rather i'm confused as to what i'm supposed to do next.

love or be loved. that is not the question.

test test

testing, lets see how this works out. blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda, i love josanne.

modlist

coilovers
ccw wheels
waterfall gauge holder
stereo relocation into glove box
paint flat red/paint dry carbon
limo tint windows

Darwin

He's gone, i never thought they would actually go through with it. To them/her he was just a dog. To everybody else he was a family member. No, he isn't dead. He's with another family. Possibly happier.

I miss him. this is my first night without him on my bed in forever. there was only a two week span in arizona that i didn't have him. i couldn't take it. i miss my dog. i miss darwin. is this how it feels to have your kid gone? empty? i feel empty. that's it. i just feel empty. as if a part of me is gone.

when i come home now i come home to nothing. i come home to the quiet.

you strike me as a figment of my imagination
a literal translation of my minds manifestation
an image burned into my retinas as a form of my first salutation
the ink bleeds, music tumbles and words skew the definition
i'm insanely stricken by the name that is simply mentioned
i fear I'm in love with the way your body moves in pre meditation
and so the music flows as a row of beauty forms in conjunction
thus here i stand with eyes and ears open in frustration
are you real? are you fake? words in lamination
but alas trust i must with the way the rhythm is formulating
and the question stands how are you my muse? my inspiration?

decided to try something different as the muse is definitely something different this time around.

Music bothers my soul as it was once something that showed me my path now it serves as a mere reminder of how utterly confused and lost I am. I graduated in the middle of a recession, can I really blame that on my failure?

I'm so insanely lost.

-- memoirs of the confused

fay made me do it.

I admit, i've been questioning alot of things, but in the end...what i wouldn't give just to sit next to you and watch tv. just me and you, nobody else.

i can't wait.

Einstein once quoted
"No, this trick won't work... How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?"

Skating by

I'm starting to feel it again, you know...that innate feeling that things are just going in the opposite direction you want them to; i mean...i have the things i've always wanted...a loving girlfriend, a true best friend, yet i feel like my decisions and my actions aren't warranting the consequences i'd like them to. rather they are guiding me towards the path that holds hte least resistance, sort of like voltage. lol. leave it to me to make a car reference in the middle of a post.

anyways, I'm not quite sure where im headed.


Today we learned about air conditioning systems, BORING.
but, there was something that caught my attention, that made me think for a moment; it was chemistry related, thermodynamics, the law says that in order for temperature to rise or lower, heat must be exchanged by one of three forces, conduction, convection or radiance.

I of course related it to love.

Love is in all things, whether or it's inanimate or alive, it can be loved and in some cases can love. now, the three forces relate by relating love to the amount of heat transferred and how it is transferred.

convection, transfering heat through a liquid energy
conduction, transfering heat through touch
radiance, transfering heat through radiancy.

lol, just kidding, i tried my hardest during class but determined one thing, learned one thing and retained only one thing.

chemistry, no matter how hard, can be defined and figured out.
love on the other hand....you eitgher have it or you don't.

i do.